Releasing the Ashes…
Somehow I have made my way to northern Michigan and the Sacred Land of Earthwalk Spiritual Community that I have loved and bonded with for more than 20 years. Acres of forests and meadows and ponds and lakes. This land is filled with the four worlds of Mother Earth: the plant world of trees and grasses and shrubs and flowers. The animal world of creepers and crawlers and four-leggeds and swimmers and winged ones. The mineral world of stones and crystals and gems. The human world at the edges of this magical land that are stewards and vision keepers in service of this land. The humans that come to this land for love, healing, safety and quiet stillness so that they can come back to their true selves.This land that holds the mythical beasts and magical beings that are so happy to love and guide us through every transition of our lives. A home of my heart.
I brought with me the ashes of my son and my parents. My son who died almost 13 years ago, my Mom who died 10 years ago and my Dad who died almost 6 years ago. The ashes that have been held lovingly by my sister for all of these years until it was time to let them go. I knew in the depth of my being it was time.
I had been walking this land for about a week with Tucker, my friend’s amazing golden retriever, asking Trevor and Mom and Dad where they wanted their final resting place to be. We all agreed it was the right spot.
A group of women had gathered in the house in Sacred Circle to receive ancient wisdom teachings for their preparation for initiation into the Changing Woman Sisterhood that I was initiated into so many years ago. They promised to hold the space as I loaded the ashes on to the toboggan to hike through the snow to the place we had chosen.
It was a beautiful sunny day with the temperature in the 20’s and I was sombre as I pulled the heavy toboggan up the huge hill. The place we had picked was a small meadow at the top of a hill surrounded by pine forest. The snow was not quite a foot deep and untouched by footprints of any kind. I sat for a while in the soft snow, being lovingly held by the land. The sun was reflecting off the snow and making it sparkle. The wind was only blowing in the tree tops and they were gently swaying in a sacred dance as we waited for right timing.
When it was time, I asked who wanted to go first. It was immediately Trevor. There was no wind at ground level so I tossed his ashes as far as I could and they made a beautiful pattern on the untouched snow. My Mom wanted to go next and I tossed her ashes over Trevor’s so that she could hold him. I was surprised to see that her ashes were a different color than his. The pattern that her ashes made was different than his and I could see both of their patterns in the snow. Then it was my Dad’s turn. I tossed his ashes over the top of them both and yet another color and pattern was revealed. I was elated by the patterns in the snow and I felt my Dad’s gratitude for keeping my promise to him to do this here on this land with his wife of 50 years and the grandson that they had so loved. I sat in the snow and stayed with them for a while and it occurred that they would be softly blanketed by the next snow and the one after that and so on. When spring comes, they will seep slowly into the soil of the land I love and will be with me every time I go there along with all of the ancestors of this land. It all felt amazingly right to me. We were at peace.
I started to head back down the hill back to the house when it occurred to me that I had an empty toboggan. Seconds later I was flying down that ¼ mile hill at a breakneck speed until about half way down I spun out of control. I had the biggest loudest belly laugh I had had in a very long time. I climbed back on to the toboggan and flew laughing and screaming joyously until I came to a soft landing at the bottom of the hill. The perfect ending to a perfect ceremony!
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